The title is not what you might expect. God is amazing and the first reading from 2 Samuel 12 shows the wisdom of God that points out how we judge others without looking at ourselves. I begin my writing again with the confession that I am an adulterer. 10 years into my marriage, I committed a grave sin that has broken my marriage of 42 years to this day. I write this because again today, God speaks to me through the sin of King David.
The prophet Nathan tells David a story about a rich man and a poor man. The poor man has one ewe which he loves and treats as family. The rich man has a visitor and instead of preparing a meal from his own flocks and herds, he takes the poor man’s ewe for his meal. King David becomes very angry to the point of saying the rich man merits death! Nathan says to David, “you are the man!”
Nathan reminds David that he stole Uriah’s wife Bathsheba and basically tells him that he will live but that the Lord is going to bring evil upon his house. It’s some pretty bad stuff that the Lord brought on David. As I said yesterday, God forgave David but there was still justice and penance to pay. It’s extremely sad but I understand.
What I have come to understand is how strong my desire is to not offend the Lord. It’s not out of the fear of punishment but out of how can I hurt the person who gives me everything and sustains me. Though I did not know God at the time of my sin, I did know better. It was wrong. David knew what he did was wrong and the end of today’s passage shows his great repentance for his sins. God told him the son born to him must surely die. And when the child becomes ill, David declares a fast and lies on the ground in sackcloth refusing to take food or listen to the words of the elders.
My hope is in the Lord. I will beg for his mercy and accept all that he permits to happen to me and accept his will. It may be hard to believe or understand, but I have great joy and peace in my life. My daily prayer for my wife, the one I love and the one I hurt so deeply, is that she will find her joy and peace in Jesus. May God have mercy on us. Amen.