I cannot tell you how often I pray to surrender my life completely to Jesus. I want to be like him. So this Lent I am giving up me! I no longer want to exist but only the Spirit of Jesus living in me. It’s probably not too realistic because sin = me and for me to follow the Lord, sin cannot exist. I need help living a life pleasing to Jesus.
Today’s Gospel reading from Luke 9 pretty much spells out how I have to live this life of Christ. Am I really ready to follow Jesus? “The Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected … and be killed.” I probably am not as ready as I think but if Christ is living in me, he is ready. He has already proven his love through suffering and dying for me. “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Again, that would seem impossible for me but not for Jesus. “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” Why would I want to save my sinful life? “What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?” I have spent way too much of my life trying to gain the world, actually, failing and failing and failing to gain the whole world. I am pretty sure that part of God’s permitting will of allowing me to fail, was to help draw me ever closer to him and to realize that I cannot do good things on my own without him.
I have been praying this prayer often;
“Holy Spirit, beloved of my soul, I adore you. Enlighten me, guide me, strengthen me, console me, tell me what to do, give me your orders. I promise to submit myself to all that you desire of me and to accept all that you permit to happen to me. Let me only know your will.”
And now I need to trust God, be open to receive his grace and get out of the way.