The question that the Gospel asks of me today is what am I so terrified of because of the lack of my faith? What do I need to ask Jesus to rebuke in my life? I have been pondering this now for a little while and one thought I do not want to share but my Lord knows exactly what I am thinking about. The other is that I will end up in hell, not able to spend eternity with my God.
In Matthew 8:23-27, Jesus is sleeping in a boat while it is being swamped by waves. The disciples are screaming at Jesus. Lord save us! We are perishing! They seem desperate and questioning if they are going to die. Have you ever been there? I am not sure that I have or not. I have had problems and difficulties and have asked the Lord for help. I remember once hearing late at night that we might lose a young child in our family that was going into a life threatening surgery. I remember praying very earnestly as best as I could. She lived and is doing very well today. I praise and thank God!
How did Jesus handle all this commotion? He said to his disciples, “Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?” Then he got up, rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was great calm. Now calm is something that I can relate to in my relationship with Jesus. I experience a great calm in my prayers, my holy hours and just my daily communication with Jesus. So I again ask myself, why am I so terrified about ending up in hell? Maybe terrified is too strong a word as I do have great faith in God’s mercy. What I lack in myself is the faith that I will cooperate with God’s grace and avoid my habitual sinfulness.
I will end in prayer from today’s Psalm 5:8 which says … But I, because of your abundant mercy, will enter your house; I will worship at your holy temple in fear of you, O LORD. May my fear O God be not one of terror but a holy fear that trusts completely in you and your holy will. Amen.