There is still too much Pharisee in me. My morning was a good reminder that there is still much work to be done in me within. From the outside when you see me, I think most times I will give you the impression that all is well and most times it is. I am not trying to fool you to thinking I have it all together. If I converse with someone, I enjoy the honesty of life issues in listening and in sharing. But today, was different.
I was out of the house at 6:15am this morning and my drive was 2 hours and 22 minutes to get to work. Yesterday, I had to leave work right at closing to travel to a choir rehearsal. I got home at 11:30pm and in bed by 12:30am. I am saying this to give myself some kind of excuse for my behavior this morning but there is really no excuse.
To set a little background on me, I was a coach, aggressive, yeller, cusser, doing anything to win, etc. Today, I do everything I can, by the grace of God, to be the total opposite of that type of behavior. I cannot remember the last time I cussed in public. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I raised my voice.
The Gospel today from Luke 11:37-41 has a Pharisee judging Jesus because He did not do the ceremonial washing before reclining at table to eat. Jesus’ words hit home for me today … “Oh you Pharisees! Although you cleanse the outside of the cup and the dish, inside you are filled with plunder and evil. You fools! Did not the maker of the outside also make the inside? But as to what is within, give alms, and behold, everything will be clean for you.”
Today, I judged truck drives, motorcyclists, drivers changing lanes and pretty much anyone that did not meet my expectations. Knowing there were accidents, I had little pity for victims of the accident and judgmentally blaming them for causing accidents and causing me the stress of possibly being late. And, I was again the 4 letter word master within the confines of my car.
My point is that I need to seek, accept and apply God’s grace to clean myself within. Like the Pharisee, my outside seems to be working ok but my inside still has its plunder and evil. Consequently, I arrived at work on time, setup the office since I had to leave early yesterday and still with time to spare, contemplated all the unnecessary foolish stress and frustration I caused myself this morning. Lord have mercy.